dont zoo me like that

i love zoos.  whats better than a regular old zoo?  a drive thru zoo where you dont even have to get out of your air conditioned automobile to enjoy the animals.  whats better than a regular old drive thru zoo?  a drive thru zoo where you can actually feed some of the animals from the comfort of your car.

 

a couple of my favorites:

 

Briarwood Ranch Safari Park

http://www.briarwoodsafari.com/

 

Lazy 5 Ranch

http://www.lazy5ranch.com/

 

 

 

of course there is a potential downside:

 

todays recommendation:

 

not me, audio is a must:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaPXO2PHh9A

 

 

 

and

 

 

all good things...must, well, you know.

 

countdown with keith is done.

 

billshit is too.

 

 

 

todays recommendation:

 

http://www.google.com/images?q=lolcats+squirrels&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox&oe=&um=1&ie=UTF-8&source=og&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wi&biw=1263&bih=572

michael scott is an asshole

michael scott is an asshole.  i dont mean steve carrell, ive never seen him in anything else so i have no opinion of him.  michael scott is an asshole.  i am way late to 'the office'.  i started watching last fall when i was staying in a house for five weeks that got only six tv channels.  ive seen every episode since.  michael scott is an asshole.  he can also be referred to as childish, immature, incompetent and obviously has a whole host of psychological issues.  he rightfully has no friends and should not have had any relationships with women.  i understand it is a fictional tv show and that creative license was taken.  he is also the least likable character in the history of television.  michael scott is an asshole.  here are my top 5 reasons why:

 

1. phyllis's wedding episode

2. pam's mother's birthday episode

3. willy wonka episode

4. frame toby episode

5. every christmas episode

 

 

 

todays recommendation:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qj4rOSTjufA&feature=related

stop protecting the idiots

and punishing the rest of us.  many things piss me off.  one of the biggies is stupidity, which is obvious to anyone who has been reading billshit.  i needed to buy some 'canned air' spray recently to clean out this keyboard.  i first checked my local grocery store since i am there often and dont like shopping anyway.  no luck.  then i was near a staples, way overpriced so i passed.  next stop was a target.  i used to like target but for many reasons dont anymore.  now i have another reason.  they fucking had to scan my drivers license before they would sell me the the air.  now in situations like this i would normally curse at the store employee and leave without giving in.  but i was already having an issue just buying the stuff and quite frankly was caught off guard.  there are so many problems with this policy, and i dont want to fill a whole page on this stupid topic so i will just focus on one issue.  scanning my license does not even come close to preventing the huffing.  it is so easy to steal from target, if someone wanted the air they would just steal it.  also, if the label on the air stating "contains a blistering agent to help discourage inhalant abuse" doesnt stop someone from huffing it, a license scan surely wont.  and what if i dont drive but want to keep my computer clean?  or am a 14 year old neat freak?  enough already.  play a game with yourself at home and think of the many other items that can cause harm or death at target that dont require a license scan.  how many did you come up with?

 

 

 

todays recommendation:

 

not me

 

http://www.myfoxtwincities.com/dpp/news/minnesota/dwi-huffing-3m-dust-off-target-parking-lot-may-26-2010

license to be an asshole

i have a long running hatred of bicyclists.  let me be a little more specific.  i live near a really, really long bike path.  actually its a collection of connecting bike paths that total over 100 miles.  plenty of miles for safe cycling.  and these miles of paths cost us the taxpayers millions of dollars.  so my hatred of bicyclists are for the ones who choose to still ride in the road as opposed to riding on the paths.  a lot of the miles of paths run parallel to, and a few feet from, the road or very near to the road.   these assholes still ride in the road.  many, many local newspaper articles and the reader comments that follow them have dealt with this problem locally.  usually after one of these road riding assholes gets killed, which happens a few times a year.  most recently a month or so ago.  i have vented and ranted in those forums and im too lazy to again now. 

 

 

 

but this guy is sort of funny:

 

todays recommendation:

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/19/friday-night-stand-up-_n_810406.html

hyper hyundai

hyundai is set to release a hybrid version of their incredible new sonata.  americas #1 hypermiler (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypermiling) got hyundai to loan him one to see if he could drive from coast to coast on less than 2 tanks of gas.  for those of you who dont want to read all 30 pages, he made it with about 2 1/2 gallons of gas to spare.  lets all raise our pointer finger to hyundai and our middle finger to the middle east oil producers.

 

 

 

todays recommendation:

 

http://www.cleanmpg.com/forums/showthread.php?s=e4a6b498b0946e45d15e7c5dc9bab95a&t=37074

shitstorms a comin'

ive mentioned before my degree is not in economics, but i am a triple 9'er.  and no that does not refer to unemployment benefits.  i have always thought that the rise in oil prices, and not fannie, freddie, or any of that other foolishness, was the main reason behind the recent economic collapse.  while the mortgage mess impacted a small percentage of us the rise is gas prices affected all of us.  predictions of $3.75 for a gallon of gas in the next few months and $5.00 next year should have everyone concerned.  if that happens we are screwed. 

 

i used to like john mccain as a politician.  this was long before he turned into grandpa simpson.  i remember watching a campaign q&a in 2000.  the question had to do with the then rising price of oil, which is laughable compared to todays price.  his response was something like, "i would remind the kuwaits that we saved their ass from saddam and they need to pay us back by getting the oil supply increased."  its time to say the same thing to iraq now and get the output ball rolling.  if the middle eastern oil producing nations allow prices to continue to rise two truths will be confirmed.  if they wont help a brother out then surely president obama is not a muslim.  and the republican partys tie to the oil industry is tighter than the most cynical among us could have ever thought.

 

 

 

todays recommendation:

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Financial_crisis_of_2007%E2%80%932010

 

and

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Price_of_petroleum

 

one solution tomorrow

yesterday

was squirrel appreciation day.  i hope you all celebrated accordingly.  i guess i should have given a heads up on thursday, but honestly i didnt even know squirrel appreciation day existed until yesterday afternoon. 

 

 

 

todays recommendation:

 

http://www.nwf.org/News-and-Magazines/National-Wildlife/Outdoors/Archives/2010/Celebrate-Squirrel-Appreciation-Day.aspx

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/21/squirrel-appreciation-day_1_n_812060.html#s227411&title=Eddy_Hall_Feeds

from another point of view

im sure youve all seen the woman falling in a fountain video by now.  let me offer a different point of view.  of course i laughed when i saw it, even though i question everything and thought it might be fake.  well its obviously real since the dumb bitch is now thinking about suing the mall.  and thats when i found out who she is and where this took place.  i had the pleasure of living a mile or so from this mall for a brief period of time, so here is my take. 

 

these people are inbred fucks.  reading pennsylvania is not only the biggest shithole of pennsylvania but most likely the biggest shithole of the country.  i lived there for one year, almost like it was a court mandated sentence.  the only days when the sky was blue were thanksgiving, christmas and easter.  the days the factories in the area happened to be shut down.  the other 362 days the sky was dirt gray.  and you know what?  nobody noticed.  nobody noticed because they all had lived there so long and breathed in all that gray air they didnt know air was supposed to be clean and the sky blue.  besides that, and not to be petty, everyone was butt ugly too.  probably due to the inbreeding.  which also accounts for the stupidity.

 

some comments about the article below. 

 

walter, do really need to tell the world you are born again christians?  didnt get it right the first time you dumb fuck?

 

and cathy, what further evidence do you need to prove your stupidity?  you fell in a fountain and left your phone out where the low life of reading pa could steal it, it has been a bad week, dumbass.

 

also, according to the youtube clock, pedro from housekeeping checks on her about 30 seconds after she climbed out of the fountain, not 20 minutes later like she claimed.  so she got up and out of the fountain immediately and someone from the mall did check on her. 

 

finally, to address the 'what ifs' from these brainiacs.  what if it was a senior citizen?  well yes it would still be funny.  and really, how many senior citizens do you see texting for starters, or texting and doing anything else whatsoever.  seniors arent really known for multitasking abilities.  and what if you were driving a bus and couldnt stop.  well walter, you would have run over the other dumbass texting while walking bitch.

 

todays recommendation:

 

http://readingeagle.com/Article.aspx?id=280405

 

oh ya, nice rap sheet you "born again" piece of shit

 

http://readingeagle.com/article.aspx?id=280672

are you reading neal?

i had the pleasure of listening to a few seconds of the neal boortz show today while waiting for the local news to start on my am radio.  besides the fact that he is one of those crazy, hate filled right wing radio nutcases, he is also full of shit.  on many issues.  most of the time.  anyway, if i didnt know better i swear he read yesterdays billshit because in the few seconds i listened to him he was screaming about the fact that americans do not have the right to healthcare.  well, i thought yesterday i clearly made the case that we do.  then he quickly digressed into a theory that the democrats want to give everyone healthcare so then everyone will vote for democrats.  whatever.

 

constitutional mentions:

 

5th amendment "nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law"

 

14th amendment "nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law"

 

todays recommendation:

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fifth_Amendment_to_the_United_States_Constitution

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fourteenth_Amendment_to_the_United_States_Constitution

some math

so im watching "cops" the other day like i usually do.  what i dont do is watch commercials.  so im flipping around on the remote and on fox there is goofball glenn beck rambling on and on and on.  even if one agrees with his point of view i dont understand how they can sit there and watch him for an hour.  he just babbles, cries, yells and never really says anything.  like a professional wrestler.  in the two minutes i watched he was talking about the declaration of independence, natures god, and his 24 inch pythons.  brotha.  i think.

 

anyway, it reminded me of a thought i had this time last year when all that healthcare stuff was going on.  and the thought resurfaced last summer during the kagan supreme court confirmation.  i think the declaration of independence is important, and certainly the right wingers got their panties all ruffled last year when kagan hinted that she didnt think it was.  so i am going to assume the righties are on my side on this one. 

 

so, some math:

 

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

 

+

 

"That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed."

 

=

 

government based healthcare

 

 

it seems pretty straightforward to me.  the right to life, and you have to be healthy to have life, plus the fact government is established to secure the rights, equals government healthcare.

 

care to tell me how i am wrong?

 

 

todays recommendation:

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Declaration_of_Independence

a pervert and a terrorist walk into a walmart

prevention has to be done beforehand.  when it comes to terrorism that means infiltration, eavesdropping, covert activity, etc.  once the terrorist is at the point of impact it is too late.  when it comes to perverts, prevention means keeping these fuckers in prison forever if they have previous horrific crimes.  the walmart flasher from the article below should have never been allowed to reach his point of impact because he should not be walking among us.  i am a big proponent of capital punishment.  someone who was convicted on a charge of sexual battery of a child under 12 years old in my mind should be executed, or at minimum to satisfy you liberals, never allowed to live with regular folks.

 

when this story was on the local news the channels interviewed customers in the walmart parking lot for their views.  obviously we are not talking about a mensa meeting.  everyone mentioned walmart needed more security so things like this wouldnt happen.  none of them realized what they were saying was ridiculous because more security would not prevent this pervert.  if walmart had a denizen of armed toothless guards patrolling its grounds you know what the pervert would do?  go to kmart.

 

todays recommendation:

 

http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/crime/os-man-exposes-himself-to-child-20101219,0,4723282.story

an alcoholic and a terrorist walk into a bar

by the time they do, its too late.  if an alcoholic is in a bar he or she is getting drunk.  if a terrorist is in a bar (or anywhere else he or she intends to blow up) they will blow it up.  the only thing stopping them at that point is the same thing that stopped the underwear bomber, shoe bomber and many others recently, incompetence.  once the terrorist is at the point of impact it is too late.  somehow, almost 10 years later, we as a people still do not understand that.  the foolishness one must go through to get on a plane proves that.  a magazine writer (i cant remember who and this not from my own mind) pointed out this past thanksgiving that a terrorist could do more damage and kill more people if they simply blew them self up at the security checkpoint at the airport.  they wouldnt even need to get on the plane.  after that, not only would most americans be afraid to ever fly again, they would be petrified to even go to the airport.

 

todays recommendation:

 

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2010/07/the-case-for-calling-them-nitwits/8130/

 

part 2 tomorrow

tat-notme-too

in general i am anti tattoo.  and i am late to the party with most pop culture issues of today.  but wtf with miley cyrus and the "just breathe"  tattoo.  she is quickly proving herself to be britney white trash.  i could say something crude here.  like how that "just breathe" tattoo in that location is a reminder to all the guys bangin her to calm down and relax when they start to realize all the communicable hillbilly diseases they are probably getting.  but i wont.  megan fox is another one.  there is a time for reading and a place for reading, and i dont think she knows when and where that is.  i guess i just dont get the word/phrase tattoos.  i worked with someone, who was in his mid 20s, who had a giant phrase tattoo on the inside of his forearm from elbow to wrist in huge block letters.  in my attempt to remain anonymous i am not going to repeat the phrase here, but it is really stupid and something im sure he wont find amusing in 5 or 10 years, if not already.  but it will come in handy if he decides on a career at the subway restaurant chain.

 

 

 

todays recommendation:

 

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/wire/ktla-bad-tattoos-gallery,0,5142279.photogallery

or to put it another way

last thoughts on this. 

 

to err is human.

 

why not err on the safe side.

 

most scientists think human actions are contributing to climate change.  most people on the right do not.  lets assume a thousand years from now it turns out the scientists are wrong and those on the right are correct.  what do we have to lose over the next thousand years by doing everything we can to reduce pollution?

 

some people think the tone from the right contributed to the events of one week ago today.  those on the right obviously think it did not.  lets assume the truth comes out and proves those on the right are correct.  what do we have to lose by treating each other better?

 

jon stewart tried to get the ball rolling in october with his rally.  anyone remember that?

 

 

 

todays recommendation:

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/12/mark-demoss-civility-project_n_808219.html

bill, no shit

real time with bill maher is back tonight on HBO.  the audio only version shows up on itunes for free around tuesday next week.

 

todays recommendation:

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/11/bill-maher-exclusive-footage_n_807728.html

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZpi0JqqDIw

geesh

defensive much are we?  usually its the guilty who scream the loudest that they are not.  i see it on "cops" everyday, "THESE ARENT MY PANTS".  the words from the right this week have been disappointing to say the least.  someone should really tell sarah that sometimes the less said the better.  like an 8 second 'im sorry if i used bad examples' instead of an 8 minute 'what about me'.

none of this changes the facts.  this is coming from someone solidly in the middle.  someone who wanted to vote for john mccain for president in 2000 and who did vote for barack obama in 2008.  i am getting pushed, unwillingly, to the left by the right.  it is not (mostly) because of the policies of the right, it is because of their tone, temperament and tactics.  the tone of those on the right who shout the loudest.  the temperament and tactics of the republican party leaders.  many people can ignore the ugly tone, lousy temperament and questionable tactics and continue to vote republican, i cannot.

so to those on the right playing the victim this week, i thought this was obvious but i guess has to be said, no one is discounting any of the valid policy arguments you want to make from a right wing point of view.  but what everyone with a sense of decency is pleading, make those arguments with the words of an educated man and not the words of a madman.

geesh.

todays recommendation:

http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2011-01-10/joe-scarborough-wants-the-republican-party-back/

"Repealing the Republicans Always Tell the Truth Health Care Law Act"

last wednesday it immediately became clear to me that i could easily do every post on the batshit crazy stuff the new republican house of representatives has been doing.  i started to make a list of examples but it got too long.  anyway, doing that every day would bore me.  so im just going to focus on the batshitiest and youre going to have to visit some of the billshit likes to fill in the rest.

 

to continue a theme from yesterday, and really the whole point of billshit, and posts from 11/8/2010, 12/1/2010 and 12/21/2010, that believing without thinking is very dangerous.  take for example what the house republicans are calling their first piece of legislation, "Repealing the Job-Killing Health Care Law Act", seriously.  it was to be voted on and passed today before the events of this past saturday.  when it is voted on in the house nothing will happen with it because the senate will not bother with it and obviously the president will not repeal his own legislation.  but i digress.  the bill could have easily been called any of the following:

 

"Repealing the Obama is a Kenyan Health Care Law Act"

"Repealing the Barack the Muslim Health Care Law Act"

"Repealing the Tax Cuts for Millionaires are Good for All of Us Health Care Law Act"

"Repealing the Tax Cuts Dont Add to the Deficit Health Care Law Act"

"Repealing the We are on Our Way to Socialism Health Care Law Act"

"Repealing the Republicans are Looking Out For Your Best Interests Health Care Law Act"

 

any of those alternate titles would have been as true as the actual one.  while perpetuating lies the republicans are actually ignoring truths.  like how the non partisan CBO just said repealing the health care law would increase the federal deficit by about $230 billion over the next decade and leave 32 million more americans uninsured.

 

todays recommendation:

 

http://thinkprogress.org/2011/01/07/obama-more-jobs-bush/

 

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2011/01/06/AR2011010605889.html

 

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2011/01/06/AR2011010606501.html

 

http://www.politicsdaily.com/2011/01/07/boehner-in-wonderland-kill-health-care-before-reviewing-the-evi/

 

and so many many more

4 of you 10 are holding us back

ok, i dont really have 10 readers, but if i did which 4 of you are the guilty ones?  i am not here to, nor would i ever, diminish others religious beliefs.  but a line has to be drawn somewhere.  that line is reality. 

 

in the gallup poll linked below pollsters gave people three choices.  one choice was humans evolved with god guiding.  i think this is a perfectly acceptable position for religious people to take.  it lets them keep their religious beliefs while also allowing for the reality of science. 

 

yet 40% of americans believe god created humans about 10000 years ago.  my guess is these same people believe saddam hussein was responsible for the 9/11/2001 terrorist attacks and president obama was not born in hawaii.  what do these three things have in common?  they are all provable and have been proven false.  but that doesnt stop large groups of people from believing the lies.  and that is very very dangerous.  when people live their lives blindly believing falsehoods dangerous shit happens.  check your history books.

 

 

todays recommendation:

 

http://www.gallup.com/poll/145286/Four-Americans-Believe-Strict-Creationism.aspx

 

part 2 tomorrow

saturdays other outrage

if you are a news agency, and it is more important for you to be first than to be correct, perhaps you should look for another line of work.  especially when you are reporting on someones life. 

 

todays recommendation:

 

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/fact

 

and

 

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110109/ap_en_ot/us_congresswoman_shot_media

free speech does not have to be hate speech

it was not a question of if.  it was a question of when, and who.  now that question has been answered.  you have blood on your hands.  all of you.  all of you who sit behind a microphone day after day spewing nothing but hate and fear, hate and fear, hate and fear.  whether that microphone is in a radio or tv studio or in the halls of congress, it makes no difference.  whether you do it because you actually believe what you are saying or whether you do it solely to make a buck, it makes no difference.  you are as guilty in this as the shooter himself.  you will denounce this event as the wrong that it is,  you already have started to do so.  you will even claim nothing you said or nothing you did led to it.  you lie.  you lie to yourself now the same way you lie to your listeners and viewers and constituents every day.  free speech does not have to be hate speech.

 

 

some people on the right decide to do good:

 

todays recommendation:

 

http://thinkprogress.org/2011/01/07/another-arizonan-dies-brewer/

 

http://arizona98.com/

funkin' donuts

i previously mentioned my disdain for mcdonalds.  but at least they dont have 'hamburger' in their name so i guess they are not promising anything special.  i was away from my home base (http://www.yelp.com/biz/donut-king-minneola) recently and felt like a donut, so i went to a place called dunkin' donuts.  perhaps youve heard of them, there are almost 9000 locations on the planet.  and according to wikipedia, which is never wrong, they make more money these days from coffee than they do from donuts.  maybe thats because their donuts are an embarrassment to the concept of fried dough.  ive had boxed supermarket donuts that were far superior than what i got at the dd.  the location i visited was more like a breakfast sandwich factory than a donut shop.  and all they are doing there is throwing frozen shit in a microwave or something.  they really need to take the word 'donut' off the signs.  chains dont have to suck.  those of you who have been to in-n-out know that.  steak and shake has pretty darned good burgers too.  then there are regional chains.  near chicago portillos is a must eat destination chain.  and in the carolinas there is a place called cook out that is so good its almost worth a drive from florida just to grab a char grilled burger and your choice of almost 50 flavors of milk shakes.

 

home base:

 

 

 

when in chicago:

 

 

  

todays recommendation:

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/12/11/anthony-bourdain-eric-ripert_n_761835.html

 

in the first video bourdain talks about in-n-out burgers.

freakin' overkill much?

maybe i can turn my tv on tomorrow without seeing this guy:

 

 

 

 

todays recommendation:

 

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/celebrity/meet-felon-golden-voice

hel-no-met

if children will be legally required to wear helmets when sledding then when shouldnt they be wearing a helmet?  lets face it, there are head banging dangers everywhere.  a trip and fall can happen anywhere around the house, so lets helmet kids up while indoors.  this is especially true in the bathroom, the most dangerous room in the house.  mandatory helmets inside, especially at bath time.  also, a kid can bump their head if they fall out of bed, so its time for kids to sleep with helmets on.  the outdoors is super dangerous even when sledding is not involved.  so its obvious children should be helmeted whenever they leave the house too.  when i was young only certain special kids wore helmets all the time, but why should they be the only safe ones?  helmets for all kids all the time!  lets just make a blanket law that when indoors or outdoors a helmet must be worn by anyone under 18 years of age.

 

theyre doing it right:

 

 

 

in all seriousness, if the government was truly concerned about children there are many other steps to take to protect them before we start worrying about sledding.  one million to be exact, i counted.  including "toddlers and tiaras" on TLC.  and why isnt it child abuse when a parent smokes around their child and that child is forced to breathe in the second hand smoke?  just wondering.

 

annual deaths by second hand smoke: 53,800 http://www.no-smoke.org/getthefacts.php?id=13

 

annual deaths from sledding:  ?, a few at most.  i couldnt find anything on the google

 

todays recommendation:

 

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2638714/posts

the countrys got a boehner

ok john of orange, youre now in charge, where are the jobs?

 

or is that phony health care repeal vote more important?

 

 

 

todays recommendation:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8r-LnsRY64

 

and

 

http://www.time.com/time/politics/article/0,8599,2040805,00.html

 

and of course

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpOUctySD68

rick scotts big ball(s)

youve got to have big balls to throw a $3 million dollar ball for yourself while so many of the people in the state you are taking charge of are struggling to pay their mortages, feed their children and find a job.  florida, you voted for him now hes all yours.  hope your happy. 

 

 

 todays recommendation:

 

http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/politics/state/fl-rick-scott-inauguration-20101220,0,4591058.story

run sarah run

i am starting the year with a prediction.  maybe its obvious and maybe the lamestream media is just playing with us, but i dont see any scenario in which sarah palin will run for president.  she may be, ok is, stupid but she is not stupid enough to think she can win.  and she is someone who likes to fail on her own terms, like quitting an elected position, as opposed to having other factors show that she is a failure, like the sales of her most recent book.  she is also as lazy as she is stupid.  running for president is hard work, ask fred thompson.  shes got a good gig now and she knows that, why upset the apple cart.  so as much as people like me, david letterman, jon stewart, barack obama and many many more would like her to run (and win the republican nomination) i am predicting she will not run.  and that gives me the sads.

 

 

 

todays recommendation:

 

http://www.palin4pres2012.com/